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leonkumquat:

when my dad was in college he had a friend who told a girl he’d take her on a date unlike any other she’d ever been on and so he took her to the supermarket to watch the lobsters fighting in the lobster tank

they’re married now

itspikachan:

veganvibez:

do you know how scary it is to acknowledge how strong your feelings are for someone and your brain is like “maybe you love them” and you’re like SHUT THE FUCK UP BRAIN YOU DONT KNOW SHIT

#I THOUGHT THIS SAID BRIAN LOL
"SHUT THE FUCK UP BRIAN YOU DONT KNOW SHIT"
poor Brian.

baggier:

THIS IS WORSE THAN THE MUG GIRL

autosage:

things to say if someone asks why you are so quiet

  • "i don’t have much to say"
  • (shrug with a smile)
  • "i like listening"
  • (with clenched teeth) “there are wasps in my mouth”

frlcker:

having a crush is painful and horrible but not having a crush is just so boring

fuckdad:

themano:

can someone from the sports side of tumblr explain this

image

it is angry

  • me:

    here is 300 gold give me your best magic staff

  • walmart cashier:

    sir for the last time

netlfix:

netlfix:

whats ET short for?

because he’s got little legs